The Sheldon Cooper Tutoring Math Experience
by Bam27
Summary: Jake is having a hard time in his math class so Alan looks for a math tutor. Alan also ends up on a date with a woman he met online.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Two And A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. Two And A Half Men belongs to Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn. The Big Bang Theory belongs to Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit will be earned here.

Author's Note: I wish both shows would have collided for one crossover, so I thought about this crossover in my head for days and took the opportunity of doing a crossover fanfic with both shows. This takes place with Season 3 of The Big Bang Theory (meaning Penny & Leonard are both single nor married), lining up with Season 7 of Two And A Half Men.

The doorbell rings; Alan walks from the kitchen to the living room to open the door. Its Judith and Jake at the door, as Judith is dropping Jake off after picking him up from school.

"Oh hey Judith! Hey Jake!" Alan said.

"Hello Alan," Judith replied. "Our son has something to say to you."

"I got a D on my math test today," Jake said.

"Today was the third math test he has taken in class for the school year. If he doesn't improve on his test taking, he'll" fail and won't move on to the next grade," Judith explained.

"Hey the teacher told me getting a D is a good grade," Jake said.

"Getting a D is unacceptable," a frustrated Judith explains. "Receiving an E and F grade is one thing, but a D shows the lack of effort when having a hard time with the test taking and not turning in or finishing assignments."

"Well I believe I've improved by getting a D instead of another F like I did on the last test," Jake replied.

Alan is looking at the both of them go at it with a blank look on his face.

"Alan I have tried everything. I've tried studying with him, but nothing is working so I was thinking of getting him a tutor," Judith said.

"Lame," Jake replied.

"Jake, just go ahead and walk to your room so me and your mother can talk privately," Alan said.

"Fine." Jake then walks inside going to his room.

"So you're thinking of getting a tutor?" Alan asked.

"Actually, I was suggesting you look for a tutor, especially since his next test is two weeks from now," Judith said.

"Me, why not Herb?" Alan wondered with a confused look on his face.

"What part of I've tried studying with our son, but nothing is working did you not understand?" Judith said. Besides, I still see you as my whipping mule despite us no longer married.

"At least I don't have to pay alimony now since that is poor Herb's job," Alan happily replied. "Also, there is one good thing about not being married to you anymore."

"What's that?" Judith asked.

"At least I don't have to deal with a shallow, selfish, bitch like you." Alan slams the door on Judith and walks back to the kitchen. Charlie is at the kitchen table drinking a glass of the Macallan scotch.

"Hey, who was at the door?" Charlie asked.

"My bitch of a ex-wife," Alan replied.

"Of course it was, well... both her and mom are straight up bitches," Charlie said.

"Well, I may get my ass kicked the next time she sees me, or I may get a call first thing in the morning where she cusses me the hell out," Alan replied.

"What makes you say that?" Charlie asked.

"I told Judith the only good thing about not being married to her anymore, is that I no longer have to deal with a shallow, selfish, bitch like her, and then slammed the door on my ex-wife."

"Really. Didn't know you had it in you, up top my brother!" Charlie proud of Alan. Alan awkwardly gives Charlie an high five.

"Its a good thing I slammed the door when I did, otherwise I had a feeling Judith was going to kick me in the crotch. In fact, I'm surprised she didn't ring the doorbell again so I would open the door and she would let me have it," Alan said.

"Who cares?" The point is you showed her who's boss and you need to do it more often," Charlie replied.

"That's true," Alan agreeing with his brother. "Well I need to find a math tutor for Jake."

"Chowder head sucking in math?" Charlie guessed.

"He got a D on his third math test today," Alan said.

"I'm pretty sure a D is a good grade," Charlie replied.

"How?" Alan wondered. "Yes getting an E or F grade is far worse, but a D grade doesn't stand for showing improvement, it stands for "danger" of failing the class."

"Or the D could stand for "delightfully" trying," Charlie looking on the bright side of it.

Alan stares at Charlie with a dull look on his face due to what Charlie just said to him.

Later that night, Alan is just getting off his cell phone since he found a math tutor for Jake.

"Okay I will see you tomorrow at 11:00 in the morning... alright goodbye," Alan hangs up his cell phone.

"Who were you talking to?" Charlie wondered.

"I finally found a math tutor for Jake. He's coming to the house tomorrow morning to help my son be prepared for the next math test in the next two weeks," Alan explained.

"I don't get it," Charlie not understanding. "You slammed the door on your ex-wife, now you're back to being a wuss?"

"Seriously Charlie," Alan said.

"I'm sorry I meant whipping mule," Charlie replied.

Alan angrily stares at Charlie. "Look Judith tried to help Jake, but it didn't work so I had to be the one to find a tutor pronto."

"So who's the tutor?" Charlie asked.

"His name is Sheldon Cooper. He's a theoretical physicist, who I found online at his website for tutoring," Alan said.

"The Sheldon Cooper Tutoring Math Experience?" Charlie reading the title at the web site from the computer.

"Yep," Alan replied. "By the way, I also have a date tomorrow night."

"With mom?" Charlie being sarcastic with a smirk on his face.

Alan then chuckles. "Boy I would love to smack you across the face right about now. "I have a date with a woman named Penny."

"Where did you find her?" Charlie asked. "On Twitter? Facebook?"

"Meet all the," Alan replied.

"I'm guessing the website is for the loners who constantly masturbates and can't afford hookers for sexual pleasure."

Alan pauses for a second while looking at Charlie and says, "Sounds about right."

Jake is walking into the living room; heading to the kitchen to get a snack.

"Hey Jake! I got some good news," Alan said.

"You got me some ice cream?" Jake guessed.

"No," Alan said.

"You got me a car?"

"No"

"You're handing over the keys to me to your car?"

"Let me finish," Alan said when angrily irritated. "I found a math tutor to help you pass your next math test. He is stopping by the house tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.

"Have you lost your mind?" Jake asked.

"What's the problem?" Alan wondered.

"I don't want to spend my Saturday being tutored. I want to watch cartoons, sleep in as long as I want to, eat a bowl of cereal, or bacon, eggs, and toast for breakfast," Jake said.

"Buddy, you do realize you won't move on to the next grade if you don't pass the next math test," Alan explained.

"Dad, I had a long day dealing with the grade I got on the test, I don't have time for you to be a smart ass right now," Jake then walks away, going into the kitchen.

The next morning, the doorbell rings; Alan walks from the kitchen to the living room to open the door.

"Greetings. I'm Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, theoretical physicist, also the math tutor and founder of "The Sheldon Cooper Tutoring Math Experience."

"I'm Dr. Alan Jerome Harper, Jake's father and it is nice to meet you."

Both Alan and Sheldon exchange an handshake.

"You're a doctor too? You're also a physicist?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm actually a chiropractor," Alan replied.

"So you just go around claiming you're a hot shot don't you?" Just throwing out the "I'm a doctor" title in the air, possibly waving it like you just don't care I see," Sheldon said.

"Anyways, come on in," Alan insisted.

"Thank you," Sheldon replied.

"Jake, you math tutor is here!" Alan calling Jake.

Jake walks into the living room to meet Sheldon.

Alan introduces Jake to Sheldon. "Jake, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, your math tutor."

"Oh sweet you're a doctor?" Jake asked. "You think you can tell me something about this zit on my butt? Its been there for a week now."

"NO! NO! NO!" yelled Alan, stopping Jake from showing Sheldon the zit on his butt.

"Jake he's not that kind of doctor, I am so sorry about that," Alan apologizing.

"No worries," Sheldon said. Now what does your son need help with? Multiplication, Subtraction? Addition? Algebra?

"Algebra, but why would you mention addition, multiplication, and subtraction? My son is sixteen, not six."

"Well some kids are not very bright like light bulbs, so that is the reason why I mentioned addition, multiplication, and subtraction."

"Okay well I will leave you two alone. By the way, makes sure Jake doesn't look at the answers in the back of the book. I recall the time of falling for it when I thought he figured out algebra," Alan said.

"Will do," Sheldon replied.

"You know it was funny as hell dad," Jake says when smiling.

"No it wasn't!" Alan quickly replied when walking back to his room with his back turned.

It was already noon and Jake was still having a hard time with algebra.

"Well Jake, I see you have not made any progress with algebra. Do you have any questions?" Sheldon asked.

Jake then raised his hand. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Its 12 o'clock why?" Sheldon asked.

"Oh sweet its lunchtime," Jake said with excitement.

"Excuse me, you will not be taken a lunch break since you still have problems understanding algebra."

"But lunchtime is my favorite subject, it helps me to get some brain food."

"I don't know who on earth told you lunchtime is a subject, but clearly its not."

"Its not?" Jake is shocked. Well all the schools all over the world need to make it a subject, stat."

"You know instead of getting some brain food, how about getting some brain cells for that big headed empty head of yours you scarecrow," Sheldon said.

"What does this have to do with The Wizard of Oz?" Jake asked looking confused.

Sheldon stares at Jake for a few seconds without saying a word. "Okay go have lunch," he said. "I want you to be back in the living room by 12:30."

Jake is going to the kitchen and Alan is walking into the living room.

"Hey!" Alan said. "So how is tutoring going with my son?" he asked.

"Horrible. Dr. Harper please don't take this the wrong way, but did your son bump his head a lot when growing up?" Sheldon asked.

"Twice actually. I dropped him once as a baby and so did his grandmother, my ex-wife's mother not mine," Alan explained.

"That explains the missing brain cells," Sheldon replied. "Was she high or drunk at the time when she dropped her grandson?" he asked.

" No doubt since she's an alcohol and drug addict," Alan said. "Had my mother dropped Jake, it would just be her being a careless bitch."

"Well I can assure you that Jake will get the hang of algebra. If the process still hasn't improved, I may take the liberty of throwing him and myself off the deck of the patio out there," Sheldon said. "Unless you want to do the honors I mean after all, you did bring him into the world."

Alan is terrified." No need for that," he said.

Back at Sheldon and Leonard's apartment, Leonard is having Chinese food for dinner with Howard and Raj. Penny enters the apartment.

"Hey guys!" Penny said. The men were speechless when staring at Penny, as she is beautifully dressed in a red bandage dress, wearing earrings, and her hair in a messy bun.

"Wow, You look beautiful," Leonard complimenting Penny.

"Beautiful, more like yummy yummy, get into my tummy!," Howard said while approaching Penny. Penny is angry, as she puts her hand to Howard's forehead, preventing him from getting close to her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Easy there boy," she said.

"Penny you look so beautiful in the red dress you are wearing. In fact, you look like one sexy Barbie doll," Raj complimenting Penny.

"Aw thank you Raj," she said.

"Going on a date tonight?" Leonard asked.

"Yep," she replied.

"Who are you going on a date with?" Leonard asked.

"Some guy named Alan Harper." He lives in Malibu, forty-years-old, single dad, and get this... he's a chiropractor."

Howard, Raj, and Leonard are all shocked; neither of them don't know what to say.

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Leonard trying to understand. You're going on a date with a man who is sixteen-years-older than you, is a single dad, and you're basically okay with this?"

"Yeah, so what's the problem?" Penny asked.

"You're not dating him to get your hands on his money are you?" Leonard wondered.

"Look, age is nothing but a number. I want to really get to know this guy and I'm not dating him for his money," Penny said.

"You sure about that toots?" Howard questioning her. "Especially when it comes to the dress you're wearing doll."

Penny gives him a mean glare until she turns her direction back to Leonard. "Anyways, where Sheldon?" she asked.

"Oh he's tutoring a kid named Jake who needs help with algebra," Leonard said.

"Oh that poor bastard," Howard replied. "Now he's going to have a hard time dealing with Sheldon."

"Since when did Sheldon become a math tutor?" Penny wondered.

"Last month when he became the founder of "_The Sheldon Cooper Tutoring Math Experience_," Leonard replied.

"Well that's nice of Sheldon helping kids to be successful in math. Alright, I better get going," Penny said.

"Bye, have a nice night!" said Raj & Leonard.

"When you see Ken say hi for me, okay Barbie!" Howard joking.

Penny looks at him with a pissed look on her face, then turns her head when heading out the door.

"So Leonard, jealous much?" Raj asked.

"Why would I be jealous?" Leonard asked.

"Because Penny is the girl of your dreams. The girl of your dreams is now going on a date with a man that is not you," Howard said.

"Look, sure I'm bummed about us nothing being together, but I'm certainly not jealous since Penny deserves some happiness."

The three then stopped talking and quietly went back to eating their meals until Leonard says, "Alright fine, I'm jealous."

Howard and Raj look at each other all shocked and surprised.

Back at the Malibu beach house, Alan is all dressed up and ready for his date.

"Dr. Harper, I must say you look very dashing," Sheldon complimenting Alan.

"Thanks," Alan said.

"So you're going on a date? Is she hot?" Jake asked.

"Yes, I'm going on a date and let's hope she is hot," Alan replied.

Charlie walks into the living room. "Hey, looking good," he said to Alan.

"Thanks," Alan replied.

The doorbell rings.

"That's probably her." Alan walks to the front door to see if it is his date. He opens the door and its Penny.

"Hi! I'm Penny. "Are you Alan Harper?"

Alan says nothing for a few seconds, as he is head over hills over her beauty.

"Damn straight I am," he said with a big smile then exchanges an handshake with her.

"Penny?" Sheldon said.

Penny notices Sheldon and walks in the beach house. "Oh hey Sheldon! Leonard told about your tutoring math experience thing."

"You two know each other?" Alan wondered.

"Yes, me and my roommate Leonard live across the hall from her apartment," Sheldon said.

Alan introduces Penny to Charlie. "Penny, this is my brother Charlie."

"It is a pleasure meeting you and you are one foxy mama I swear to God," Charlie said.

"Thank you," she replied.

Alan introducing Penny to his son. "This is my son Jake."

"You are so beautiful," Jake complimenting Penny.

"Aw thank you, you are so sweet and so cute," she said.

"Will you be my step mom?" he asked.

Penny is flattered and blushes.

"Okay well we should be going," Alan said.

Charlie quickly grabs Alan on his shoulder to whisper into his ear, "You better be on your best behavior and don't screw this up."

At a fancy restaurant, Alan and Penny are enjoying each other's company while having a nice dinner.

"So the Malibu beach house belongs to your brother and you have been living there since your ex-wife Judith kicked you out," Penny now understanding.

"Correct," Alan said.

"So how long were you and Judith married?" Penny asked.

"For twelve years," he replied.

"Twelve years!" Penny shocked as her eyes grew wide. And she still kicked you out of the house?"

"Oh it didn't stop there," Alan explaining. "I lost all of my possessions and was stuck with paying her $3,875 monthly alimony. It was all because of my brother, who slept and broke up with my one time attorney, leading her to take her anger out on me by giving Judith the ridiculous amount of money."

"And here I thought Charlie was such a gentleman when complimenting me," Penny said.

"Well dear, he's only a gentleman to the ladies went getting them into bed," Alan replied then taking a sip of wine.

"So tell me more about yourself," she insisted.

"I was married to my second wife Kandi. She divorced me so she could get the opportunity for the role as an investigative reporter on a TV show."

"So she's a total bitch too?" Penny assumed.

"Actually she's sweet and much nicer than Judith, she's just not very bright," Alan said.

Either way, I'm just a single dad who continues having failed relationships, being a door mat to everyone I know, as I suffer living a sad, miserable life. This is a sign from God letting me know that he truly hates me."

Penny looks at him with a sad look on her face. "Aw, you poor thing," she said, gently putting her hand on top of Alan's hand.

"Its okay, I deserve it," he replied.

"No you don't Alan. You deserve better, you deserve a better life, true happiness, you deserve all of those things. What you need is confidence, also the strength and courage to remind yourself, "Hey! I'm Alan Harper! I may be a lot of things, but not a loser!"

Alan smiles and nod his head. "Thank you Penny...that means a lot."

Penny smiles."You're welcome," she replied.

"Enough about me, tell me about yourself," Alan insisted.

"I'm a waitress at a Cheesecake Factory," she said.

"Do you enjoy it?" Alan asked.

"Eh," Penny shrugging her shoulders. "It pays the bills, but I hope to be an actress someday."

"Well if its something you want to go for, then you should follow that dream," Alan motivating her.

Penny thinks for a moment, then looks up at Alan smiling at him. "You know what... you have a good point," she said.

Alan smiles back and the two of them continue enjoying their first date together.

After dinner, Penny insisted on driving Alan home instead.

"I enjoyed our date tonight," Alan said.

"Me too, I had fun," Penny replied. "Say how about we go for a little ride before I drop you off at your place," she suggested.

"Okay, where to?" Alan wondered.

"Shh," Penny shushed Alan when putting her finger over her lips. "Its a secret," she whispered in a soft, comforting tone.

Penny and Alan arrive at Judith and Herb's place, as Alan is quite shocked and surprised.

"Um, Penny... why are we at my ex-wife's place?" Alan wondered.

"I was thinking of meeting her in person.. by confronting her."

"Wait, is that why you asked me where she lives? And why you insisted on driving me home?" Alan asked.

"You be your sweet ass I did," Penny replied with a smile on her face.

"Penny, I appreciate what you're doing, but I don't think its going to go well," Alan knowing this isn't a good idea.

"Alan, this is your chance to finally get some confidence, being courageous, standing up to your ex-wife, no more being treated like a doormat, so let's go!" Penny gets out of the car and seconds later, Alan gets out of the car too and follows her.

"Might as well, I just know for a fact I'm going to get my ass kicked," Alan said.

Both are walking towards the front door and Penny rings the door bell.

"Remember. Be confident, courageous, and stand up to your ex-wife," Penny said, as Alan then nodded.

Judith opens the front door.

"Alan," Judith surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Boy I'm wondering the same thing," Alan keeping it together with a smile on his face. "Judith, this my date Penny."

"Nice to meet you," Judith putting her hand out, as both her and Penny exchange an handshake.

"Yeah sure it is, any who," Penny quickly said. "I know I am just meeting for the first time, but you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Excuse me?" Judith not knowing what she is talking out.

"You were married to this man for twelve years and all you did was treat him like he was nothing but hot garbage. To make matters worse, you kicked him to the curb like he was the reason your marriage failed when really, it was all on you missy..." Judith then interrupts Penny.

"Now listen here, it is none of your business..." Penny stops Judith from talking.

"HEY! I'm talking so I have floor!" Penny continues to give Judith a piece of her mind.

"Now you're ex-husband is living with his brother, only getting to see his son on weekends, while you continue to treat him like dirt after the divorce, also still being the same selfish, stubborn, unfriendly, backstabbing of a bitch, who only gives a damn about no one but herself!"

Judith the whole time is speechless; doesn't have anything to say.

"Alan do you have anything to add?" Penny asked.

"Judith she's right. "I'm Alan Harper! I maybe a lot of things, but I am not a loser!" Alan said proudly. Both Alan and Penny then high five each other.

Herb walks to the front door.

"Hey, what's going on here?" he asked. "Holy Glory! You are a sight!" Herb said when noticing Penny.

Penny blushes.

"Hey Alan, who's the blonde beauty?" Herb wondered.

"Herb, this is Penny, my date. Penny this is Herb, my ex-wife's second husband."

"She got married again?" Penny shocked.

"Yes, I did. Is there a problem?" Judith wondered.

"Uh, yeah because we have established that you are an awful human being who doesn't deserve happiness, but Alan does. "Hey Herb, does Judith treat you like crap just like poor Alan here?" Penny asked.

"Yes, I can't even hang out with Alan because she finds it weird for the ex and current husband to hang out together." Herb said.

"Well take my advice, get a divorce." Penny suggested.

Herb turns his head facing Judith. "She's right Judith. As of tonight, we are divorced. It was my pleasure meeting you Penny and Alan, she's a keeper," Herb gives Alan a wink and Alan winks back.

Herb walks back inside; Judith is right behind him, as she was so angry and still speechless, then slamming the door.

Alan turns his head facing Penny."I know this is our first date, but will you marry me someday?" he happily asked.

Penny smiles. Both Alan and Penny hold hands and walk back to the car.

The next morning, Charlie is enjoying a cup of coffee. Alan, who is in a good mood, comes into the kitchen feeling like a new man.

"Good morning," Charlie said.

"It certainly is," Alan replied who can't help but to smile.

"So how was your date last night?" Charlie asked.

"It was marvelous. It was so great that I slept like a baby and I'm left with butterflies in my stomach," Alan said.

"Did you get some?" Charlie wondered.

"What?" Alan said looking confused.

"You know... Bow Chicka Wow Wow, Charlie said.

"Charlie, having sex on the first date is not the way to go," Alan replied.

"Sure it is. Dinner comes first then after supper is over with, next is dessert; _Ala_ _Women Sundae_," Charlie explained.

"Well regardless of what you think, the date was still marvelous. The best part was when we went over to Judith's and Penny confronted her for me."

"She stood up to your ex-wife and let Judith have it like it was nothing? She is truly a keeper, do not let her get away Alan."

Berta enters the kitchen. "Morning," she said.

"Morning," both Alan and Charlie said.

"So Zippy, a little birdie told me you went on a date last night," Berta said.

"The little birdie is me," Charlie raising his hand while having a smile on his face.

Alan pauses when looking at Charlie. "No kidding, I never would have guessed," he sarcastically said.

"So how was the date?" Berta asked.

"It was great," Alan replied.

"Did you get any?" She wondered.

"No," Alan replied.

"So basically you wussed out huh?" Berta assumed. "For Pete's sake Zippy, even for you that's pretty low."

For the next two weeks, Penny and Alan continued dating. They enjoyed each other's company and both were falling head over heels for one another. Two weeks later on a Friday, it was the day Jake would take his fourth math test in class; Alan was nervous hoping that his son would pass the test.

Charlie is sitting on the living room couch reading a magazine, while Alan paces back and forth hoping to get good news about Jake passing his math test.

"Wasn't today Jake's math test?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I really hope he did well. Dr. Cooper said the tutoring has gotten better, but it all comes down to the test grade," Alan replied.

"As long as he gets a D, you'll" have nothing to worry about," Charlie said.

Alan is annoyed."For the last time, a D is not a good grade," he replied.

"Say what you want, I'm sticking to my own beliefs. Even if he does fail, was he planning on going to college anyway?" Charlie wondered.

"Even if the nugget head went to college, he would go to see the shirtless girls running around with their biscuits all out." Berta replied.

Jake comes in the front door. "Hey everyone!" he said.

"Hey buddy! How did you do on the test? You failed didn't you? I knew it! I knew it!" Alan being so nervous.

"Dad don't worry, I passed the test," Jake said.

"You did?" Alan replied.

"You got a D didn't you?" Charlie guessed.

"No, even better, I got a C+" Jake replied.

"Oh," Alan disappointed. "I was hoping an A or B grade, but a C+ is just fine, congratulations Jake!" Alan said proudly.

"Thanks, I'm going to go to my room now," Jake is walking to his room.

"Wow, the son of a bitch did it," Berta said.

"Yes. Even though he didn't receive an A or B letter grade, him passing the test is what matters...I'm a proud dad," Alan said.

The doorbell rings;Alan answers it and it is Penny showing up unannounced.

"Hey Penny! I didn't know you were stopping by," Alan surprised.

"Alan we need to talk privately," Penny said.

Alan has a worried look on his face hoping Penny is alright. "Uh, sure," he said then closing the door behind him.

"That doesn't sound good does it?" Berta asked Charlie.

"No it does not," he replied.

"You think this is the end of their relationship?" she asked.

Charlie continues reading the magazine. "I'm pretty sure it is," he replied.

Penny and Alan start talking to each other outside.

"So what's going on? Is everything alright?" Alan asked.

"Alan, the past two weeks with you have been great and I will always treasure the memories we've shared together..." Alan cuts her off.

"Oh my god, you're dumping me," he said, knowing where Penny was going with this. "I don't get it, what did I do wrong?" he asked.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I apparently still have feelings for a friend of mine named Leonard. I've been thinking about him for a few days now and I can't get him out of my mind. It feels as though Leonard is the one for me," she explained.

"I understand," Alan disappointed.

"I am so sorry I had to do this Alan," Penny apologizing.

"Thank you," he said. "I just really thought you were the one."

"I know," Penny being sympathetic while putting her hand on his arm." But we can still be friends by keeping in touch right? She asked.

Alan couldn't help but smile. "I would like that, especially when I need help defending my ex-wife by myself."

"Don't worry you'll" be fine," Penny motivating him. "Remember to be confident and courageous because after all, you are who?"

"I'm Alan Harper! I maybe a lot of things, but I am not a loser!" he said proudly.

Penny then smiled. "Take care Alan," she said lovingly then giving Alan a kiss on the cheek. Penny then leaves until she comes back a few seconds later.

"Oh what the hell," she said when walking towards Alan; giving him another kiss, but this time on the lips. "I figured I give you a goodbye kiss on the lips before hitting the road," she said then leaving this time.

"Take care Penny!" Alan said, as he is very happy about the kiss on the lips.

Alan goes back into the house, but is sad once again.

"Did she dump you?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Alan replied when down in the dumps.

"What did you do?" Charlie assuming Alan ruined the relationship.

"Nothing. She apparently has strong feelings for a friend of her's named Leonard. Basically, Penny has been thinking about him for a few days and she didn't know how to tell me," Alan explained.

"Sorry you got dumped," Charlie said.

"I appreciate it," Alan replied. " I'll" be fine... in time."

Charlie gets up from the couch and is going into the kitchen. "How about we get some beer," he suggested.

Alan follows Charlie. "Why? to drown my sorrows?" he asked.

"Why not? It always cheers me up," Charlie said.

"Count me in!" Berta replied as she followed Charlie and Alan into the kitchen.

After having some drinks with Charlie and Berta, Alan went for a walk to clear his head. He runs into Herb walking next to a beautiful, dark-haired, brown-eyed woman.

"Oh, hey Herb!" Alan said.

"Hey Alan! I like for you to meet Melissa, we're currently dating."

"Hello," she said.

"Hello! Nice to meet!" Alan replied. "So you and Judith are getting a divorce?" he asked.

"We sure are. I filed for divorce the very next day, all thanks to Penny's advice. Not to mention, I moved out and now have my own apartment," Herb explained.

"So how is Judith taking it?" Alan wondered.

"Obviously not good, but she's a bitch and karma came right up her alley. So how is Penny doing?" Herb asked.

"Her and I broke up," Alan replied.

"Aw that is too bad, you guys were perfect for each other. Say the next time you happen to see her, tell her I said thanks for the advice," Herb said.

"I will, nice meeting you Melissa," Alan said waving goodbye to Herb and Melissa.

"See you Alan," Herb said, as both he and Melissa waved goodbye back at Alan.

Alan's phone is ringing. He gets it out of his pants pocket and answers. "Hello."

Its Sheldon on the phone.

"Yes, Dr. Harper I am just calling to see if Jake did a fine well job on his math test today?" Sheldon wondered.

"He surprisingly did well, he got a C+" Alan said.

Sheldon pauses for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. "Well his bright future is a done deal," he replied.

"I know you were expecting an A or B grade, but at least a C+ is better than anything else lower," Alan looking on the bright side. "Either way, I appreciate you tutoring my son."

"You're quite welcome. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since Jake lost his brain cells, and inside of that big head of his is nothing but mush," Sheldon said.

"Alright, well I'll" let you go... goodbye," Alan said then hanging up the phone.

"Jake does have a big head and inside is nothing but mushy oatmeal," he said, as he continues his walk.

The End


End file.
